On December 2nd, 2010 I turned 46! :) I honestly feel like 26 but with the wisdom I have aquired over the past 4 decades plus 6 ;) I had a great time for the first time in many year on my birthday. Good friends were around and I was blessed to get a free Chiropractic Adjustment, which was awesome!
I love this time of year and I also don't like this time of year. lol I have been alone for the holidays and my birthday, until this past one, for almost 6 years. It gets old ;) My family lives on the East Coast and I am on the West. Finances prevent me from being able to go home and visit my parents, who are now 80 and 81 years of age. I have not seen my Mom in 10 years and I believe I saw my Dad about 8 years ago. We met in Galveston, Texas; his birthplace. He was being honored for all his Lifetime Achievements. I was and am SO proud of him :)
I believe I am also a bit on the lonely side. I am so content and feel empowered for living alone for as long as I have but I truly miss the company of a handsome, male companion! :) This Cougar needs to meet an amazing man that wants to be loved and to give love. I am comfortable enough to not just get a man for the sake of having one. I have watched a few females go down that path of doom. I would rather be alone than be with the WRONG man. Oh, I forgot to mention that it's Christmas Eve and I am home, alone, in my apartment relaxing with an awesome feline named Missy whom I have had the honor of taking care of for the past 6 months.
I am actually having a nice time, but it would be so much sweeter holding the hand of or looking into the eyes of someone I care deeply for or love.
I actually think I am beginning to let go a little, of Daniel. I feel it.
He sent me the most amazing Christmas card. It read: 'There's Only One You' -->(on the inside was) "Merry Christmas and Happy New Year" "You're truly a wonderful person. And life couldn't have given me a more beautiful gift than you."~~~~~~~~~~ I was awestruck! For those reading who don't know, Daniel is my best friend who I fell in love with, and YES, you guessed it. He does not feel that way. We have an amazing deep friendship that I cherish more than words can say, but I do love him. It is what it is and I think I am accepting that he will not be my lover. He won't tell me that, when I ask him to directly. A bit confusing if I were to choose to read a fairytale into it :) Regardless, Daniel is a true gift and a blessing in my life and I can't see my life without him in it! Our bond goes beyond words and I believe beyond time. ;) *I feel a Chant coming on ;) *
Well, while I continue to work on myself and look within, I will be ready for when my next great love to come into my life. I believe that I will be ready mentally, physically and spiritually to have an amazing relationship :)
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND BE SAFE, BLESSED, AND FILLED WITH JOY AND HAPPINESS!
BLESSINGS
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