BEST FRIENDS~!

Recent reviews by Patty T.

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Gayatri Mantra

University Of Phoenix

Well,
This is my second week or orientation to the Univeristy of Phoenix. I can't believe that at age 47 I am returning to school. I just turned 47 this past December 2nd and I have to say that I am excited about the prospect of earning an Associates degree of Arts in Psychology. My official classes start on January 2nd, 2012. I'll be taking 2 classes, each for 9 weeks. It will take me 2 years to achieve my Associates. I am really looking forward to this even though it seems a bit overwhelming at times. I think the big thing is that it's been over 20 years since I've been in school and that is good in a way because I feel more focused. I think I will use my time better than I would have or did when I was in High School.
This is an endeavor that I am looking forward to. I have not told a lot of people because I feel that might put undue pressure on myself to do well because then I will feel as if I am being watched to see if I succeed. So for the most part I have kept silent about this new adventure and will be silent until I have at least completed a year of schooling or at least the first 6 months.
I'll keep anyone who is interested up to date on my new adventure that I feel I will be successful at. :)

Still In Love

Well,
I still love a man that does not love me in the sam way............... Do you have any idea how much of a hearbreak this truly is? I keep trying to slip away so I can heal but he won't let me go~! I'd have to hide from him. Should I do this? Does anyone have any advice for me out there? I could really use some sound advice. I keep getting told that I just need to get rid of him but then tht means ending a friendship that is truly important to me. Sigh................what am I do do?...........................

Reflections............................

I have made many discoveries about myself in the past 6 years. For me, turning 40 was a major breakthrough on my path to my continuing spiritual growth. I am now 46 and have integrated many trapped emotions that were doing me no good. I read a life changing book called "The Emotion Code" by a Dr. Bradley Nelson and it showed me that you can clear out emotions that are in you, from events that happened to you at a young age, or even from a past life that cause each of us to react in ways that are not good for us. Events can happen to you, say at at 5 and you think that you are past them. But they are trapped in your subconscious mind and your ego will convince you that those thoughts are real. Most of those thoughts or reactions, that were used at age 5 to protect yourself are no longer needed. Most people are not even aware of the fact that these events even make an impact on their adult life but they can and do. Once an emotion has been cleared out, it is gone for good. Not suppressed but gone!! Once it's gone, it's gone. You would be surprised what a difference this makes and how much better you feel even if you didn't know what was even going on. Each time you clear an emotion you also raise your consciousness. Not only do you raise your consciousness but you also raise the consciousness of everyone on the planet. It's a subtle thing but if everyone worked on themselves. Imagine what humans could accomplish and imagine what would happen if humans remembered that they are sparks of God, not separate from God. That is why we take human form to begin with. This is the place where we come to work on remembering our True selves. I'll get more into this again soon :)

"Broken Open" (Adam Lambert) - Unofficial HQ Music Video

The Miracle of 528 Hz Solfeggio and Fibonacci numbers

Flower Of Life / Sacred Geometry

December and The Holidays.........

On December 2nd, 2010 I turned 46! :) I honestly feel like 26 but with the wisdom I have aquired over the past 4 decades plus 6 ;) I had a great time for the first time in many year on my birthday. Good friends were around and I was blessed to get a free Chiropractic Adjustment, which was awesome!
I love this time of year and I also don't like this time of year. lol I have been alone for the holidays and my birthday, until this past one, for almost 6 years. It gets old ;) My family lives on the East Coast and I am on the West. Finances prevent me from being able to go home and visit my parents, who are now 80 and 81 years of age. I have not seen my Mom in 10 years and I believe I saw my Dad about 8 years ago. We met in Galveston, Texas; his birthplace. He was being honored for all his Lifetime Achievements. I was and am SO proud of him :)
I believe I am also a bit on the lonely side. I am so content and feel empowered for living alone for as long as I have but I truly miss the company of a handsome, male companion! :) This Cougar needs to meet an amazing man that wants to be loved and to give love. I am comfortable enough to not just get a man for the sake of having one. I have watched a few females go down that path of doom. I would rather be alone than be with the WRONG man. Oh, I forgot to mention that it's Christmas Eve and I am home, alone, in my apartment relaxing with an awesome feline named Missy whom I have had the honor of taking care of for the past 6 months.
I am actually having a nice time, but it would be so much sweeter holding the hand of or looking into the eyes of someone I care deeply for or love.
I actually think I am beginning to let go a little, of Daniel. I feel it.
He sent me the most amazing Christmas card. It read: 'There's Only One You' -->(on the inside was) "Merry Christmas and Happy New Year" "You're truly a wonderful person. And life couldn't have given me a more beautiful gift than you."~~~~~~~~~~ I was awestruck! For those reading who don't know, Daniel is my best friend who I fell in love with, and YES, you guessed it. He does not feel that way. We have an amazing deep friendship that I cherish more than words can say, but I do love him. It is what it is and I think I am accepting that he will not be my lover. He won't tell me that, when I ask him to directly. A bit confusing if I were to choose to read a fairytale into it :) Regardless, Daniel is a true gift and a blessing in my life and I can't see my life without him in it! Our bond goes beyond words and I believe beyond time. ;) *I feel a Chant coming on ;) *
Well, while I continue to work on myself and look within, I will be ready for when my next great love to come into my life. I believe that I will be ready mentally, physically and spiritually to have an amazing relationship :)

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND BE SAFE, BLESSED, AND FILLED WITH JOY AND HAPPINESS!

BLESSINGS

Heartache/Pain/Inability To Let Go (Part 2)

My heart is so broken.............. I will never understand why my best friend feels the need to exclude me from his Facebook page. For me, this is extremely hurtful, painful even. I know that everyone should be able to have their privacy, but it's the lies I get told that do the

most damage.............. So upset, I am not really able to speak like I would like....... I will finish more on this later today............................

Heartache/Pain/Inability To Let Go

Not sure how to feel or what to feel........................  I made the mistake of falling in love with my best friend and a man who does not find black ladies attractive.  Since the world sees me as an African-American female, this was a killer fact to find out about someone I gave the title of "Best Friend" too!  Turns out his nationality of choice are Latinas and Asians.  SIGH.............. I am shit out of luck!  I still don't understand why God would send this man into my life.  Yes, he has helped me tremendously on my Spiritual path but why the cruelty of knowing that this is the kind of man I have always wanted!  To know that he'll never love me and that I was written off because of my brown skin is difficult.  It also feels like a punch in the gut because I have only dated White men.  But I do find attractive men in all races, I just have always been drawn to Caucasian men.

Is this some kind of lesson?  I don't like it!  How am I supposed to believe someone else is out there for me when I feel I have met the love of my life in my best friend?  I have cried so many tears over this!  I just don't know what to do!  My heart is so broken and It aches and I am so very hurt on such a deep level.  I feel as if I need to let go , but I don't know how to do this!  When I mention to him that I should go, he makes me feel like I am throwing him away!  Does he not see that is how I feel???!!!  As I type this, the tears run down my face! This happens often.......................... I'll continue this.........  I need to try to sleep!  I am so very sad and I don't know how this will ever be right for me!??

Know Thyself And Be Patient With Others........

I am always amazed when you start talking to someone who insist that our paths have crossed for a reason and then as soon as they serve you plates of compliments and possibilities, they back away once they have been sexual with you. You would think that a man past 50 would be more grounded and true to his words. Alas, I have been played by another man claiming to be spiritually grounded. What ever happened to taking the time to know someone? You can't do that if you slow down verbal or written interaction with the individual. Am I wrong in my conclusion? .......... Most of the time I think people are not honest with themselves so how can they be honest with another? I really am not male bashing and I know this next inquiry is going to sound like that but are there any men out there that are willing to take the time to get to know another person? Don't men want to find a connection with that special lady? I would really hope so. I am sure those men are out there somewhere but as of yet, they have been illusive to me...... sigh.... I do believe in my heart that my day will come and that special someone is going to appear :)